The Courage to Stand

When I was about 9 years old, I was invited to a birthday party for a girl named Kim. Kim was one of the popular girls in our neighborhood, and we really weren’t close friends, so I was surprised when she invited me.

But this wasn't just a birthday party.

It was a sleepover.

And for me, that was a very big deal.

Growing up as a little Black girl in a home with seven children, my mother was very protective. Sleepovers simply weren't allowed.

But I begged.

Eventually, Mama said yes.

And then she did something I'll always remember. Although we didn't have much money, she bought me my very first pair of pajamas.

No worn-out T-shirt that night!

They were pink and flowery, with a matching top and bottom. I loved those pajamas so much I probably would have worn them all day if Mama had let me.

I don't remember everything that happened at the party. I do remember being excited that we could eat all the junk food we wanted. With seven children at home, that definitely wasn't happening at my house!

But later that evening, something happened that stayed with me.

When Everyone Else Closed Their Eyes

About six or seven of us decided to play a game.

Because it was Kim's birthday, she chose.

She pulled out a Ouija board.

I didn't really know what a Ouija board was, but something about it didn't feel right to me.

Kim had us sit in a circle and touch fingertips or hold hands. Then she dimmed the lights.

She told us we were going to try to “bring back the dead.”

I was terrified.

The room became quiet.

The lights were low.

Every eye was closed...

except mine.

Technically, I was sitting in the circle.

My hands were there.

My fingers were touching theirs.

But my eyes were wide open.

And inside, I was praying like Mama taught me to pray.

I refused to participate.

I wouldn't meditate on the dead.

I wouldn't call on spirits.

I wouldn't give my agreement to something that I knew in my heart wasn't right.

After a few minutes, Kim finally said,

“Nothing's happening because someone here doesn't believe.”

She was right.

That someone was ME!

Agreement Matters

I didn't have sophisticated theological language for what happened that night. I was just a little girl.But I understood something:

I had a choice.

I could sit in the same room without surrendering my convictions.

I could be surrounded by people doing one thing and still choose another.

I could refuse to give my agreement simply because everyone around me had given theirs.

That night taught me about the power of the mind, the power of choice, and the power of prayer.

But as I've grown older, I've realized it taught me something about leadership, too.

Leadership Sometimes Looks Like Standing Alone

Leadership isn't always standing on a platform with people following you.

Sometimes leadership is sitting quietly in a circle when everyone else is doing the same thing—and having enough conviction to say within yourself:

Not me.

Sometimes courage isn't loud.

Sometimes nobody applauds it.

Sometimes nobody even realizes you're exercising it.

But conviction doesn't require an audience.

There will be moments in life when people around you choose something you cannot choose.

There will be moments when going along would be easier than standing apart.

There will be moments when your faith, values, integrity, or discernment make you the odd one out.

Stand anyway.

You don't have to become argumentative.

You don't have to condemn everyone around you.

You don't even have to make a scene.

But you do have to know what you believe.

And you have to be willing to remain true to it.

Decades later, I can still picture that little girl sitting in that circle.

Her hands were there.

Her friends were there.

But her conviction was still her own.

And perhaps that's one of the earliest leadership lessons I ever learned:

Sometimes the difference is simply having the courage to stay true to who you are and what you believe—even when everyone around you chooses otherwise.

Your SG Moment

Where in your life are you being tempted to go along simply because everyone else is going along?

Maybe courage doesn't require you to make a big announcement.

Maybe your next act of leadership is simply to stand.

SG Moments | Faith. Leadership. Life. Purpose.

Dr. Arlene Sumpter